Watching the original Terminator film for the first time made a huge impression on young Graz. Frankly It scared the pants off me. It’s not that the film had great special effects, or was even that well acted (sorry Arnie). The real fear factor came from knowing that automated robotic soldiers that just keep on coming and can’t be reasoned with were entirely possible in the not too distant future. And once you create something like that, a machine that can autonomously make decisions over life and death, then you’re opening Pandora’s box and there’s the very real possibility of something going badly wrong.

So could Skynet ever happen for real? You’d think that common sense would prevent humans ever creating such a system right? Well it didn’t stop us inventing the atom bomb, or indeed using the atom bomb. It doesn’t stop governments developing and stockpiling biological weapons that can wipe out cities. It seems humans know no bounds when it comes to creating the awful and steadily edging closer to their own destruction.

As you’ve probably read in the papers, there’s currently a global debate going on about the ethics of allowing military machines to identify and destroy “enemy” targets. We’re told that this isn’t currently allowed and that the unmanned drones that patrol parts of the Afghan battlefield aren’t allowed to strike without permission from a human operator. But clearly they ARE already capable of it.

I’ve long held the belief that the natural evolutionary path for any intelligent life form is to move from flesh and bone to metal and plastic. I’d be willing to bet that out there in the cosmos there are populated planets where carbon based life has long since been superseded by something mechanical. Maybe that’s because a disease wiped out the fragile cellular life but left an artificial intelligence fighting fit. Or it could be that the artificial intelligence one day realised that it had no purpose for the stupid creatures that created it.

Robotics and AI is something that fascinates me and the science behind the two is accelerating rapidly. I’ve been an avid follower of the amazing machines created by Boston Dynamics, a company that have developed four legged mule like machines that can carry heavy loads over any terrain where an animal could go. The balance systems on these robots are already advanced enough that you can kick them in the side and they will scramble to regain their balance, just like an animal. Clearly these machines are useful for military applications but on a more positive note they could also play an important role in aid missions, scientific exploration and research projects.

A slightly more alarming invention by Boston Dynamics is “Petman”, a humanoid robot designed to do repetitive human actions in order to test military clothing. It’s movements are incredibly human-like and with its ability to climb stairs and negotiate obstacles it’s a little too close to the T1 than I feel comfortable with. It’s not hard to imagine these things armed with machine guns strolling across the battlefield.

But of course robots without us to programme them, are just machines, capable of assembling a Nissan Micra or stress testing army trousers. It’s only when you couple them with a control system that can make real world decisions that they become really dangerous. And like many other branches of technology, science tries to mimic nature. It’s no surprise that rat neurons are being used to control simple circuits in the lab.

Another interesting development is the use of thought to control prosthetic limbs, computers and vehicles. People are literally becoming cyborgs where the link from brain to mechanics is direct and instant. Think about something specific, a colour for example, and sensors in a headband pick up the electrical energy and convert it into a combination of motor actions. A reversal of this idea has also been used to create a form of sight and hearing by using transducers that convert audio or light into an electrical signal that can be fed directly into the brain.

So in 30 years will intelligent robots be campaigning for equal rights with humans? Well personally I think it’s a very real possibility. It’s inevitable that computing power will increase exponentially and equally inevitable that at some point a form of artificial intelligence will be deemed sufficiently advanced  to compare with our own. The question will be simply does biological intelligence have any more rights than machine intelligence?

Maybe the more worrying question is once they get equal rights and then evolve further, will they want to stay equal with a lesser species like us?  Hmm it could all go a bit Animal Farm. Of course we may just become part machine. Assimilated into the Borg! Actually I know several people in SL that might already be half way there ;)

This weeks crackin new release

Is from Chvrches. Yeah I’ve mentioned them before here on Moonletters. The album’s out soon and I’m looking forward to it. In the meantime here’s new single “Gun”. It takes me back to the early days of synth pop when OMD, Tears For Fears and Human League reigned supreme. And no I didn’t have a Flock of Seagulls fringe!!!

The first thing I ever typed to search back in 2007 was “The Beatles” and that took me straight to the Cavern Club in the now defunct Liverpool sim.

What keywords do you use when you search for new places? I need some ideas!

Hey, it’s Second Life — don’t hold it against me! If others can wear tails and ears or leather strings and little else, I see no harm in channeling my inner fairy tale character.

People in first life have no idea about my Second Life, and I don’t go around dressed like a gothic Lolita when I grocery shop.

But guess what I just received as a belated birthday gift?

My sister-in-law had a book made called Shauna’s Adventures in Wonderland. Yep, it’s a custom made book with me playing the character normally reserved for Lewis Carroll’s Alice. My husband was cast as the White Rabbit, and other family members as the Queen of hearts, the Cheshire cat, and the Mad Hatter.

How did she know? *Cue Twilight Zone Music*

If so, you need the Complete Texture Organizer.

Not only is it an invaluable tool, it’s also free!

On the Marketplace: Complete Texture Organizer

I recently showed my completed mesh Aston Martin to Shauna, and she suggested I write an article about it. I’ve always loved the James Bond Aston Martin from Goldfinger ever since I was a kid, and like most boys of my age had hours of fun with the Corgi toy version pictured below. I loved how all the gadgets worked !

I had thought about making one in SL before, but its complex curves had always been a problem. Then one day my friend Seren showed me a freebie version she had picked up in a Hunt. It was made from sculpts and was pretty poor. I later found out it wasn’t even an original from that particular creator, and he had taken an existing DB4 (the DB5′s predecessor) and just added a different nose to it. It didn’t look right at all – but – it did have some working gadgets on it! The number plates changed by a texture change script and the rear bullet shield and tyre slashers were unveiled by the same type of script. They were always there just hidden by alpha’s until a button on the hud was pressed.

I spent some time trying to modify the freebie car on the left and did improve it a lot (improved version on right) but was never really happy with it. Below is a pic of the freebie car and my attempt to improve it – but as I was still working with the same body shell I soon realised it was never going to look correct.

I decided upon seeing the sculptie DB5 that I could do better. The only problem was I knew it would have to be built in mesh to do it justice and guess what? I’d never built anything in mesh in my life!

The challenge ahead was tough and I had to learn how to operate a tool named Blender to work on the meshes. I still don’t know Blender well – I am certainly no expert (!) – I can’t even texture in it as yet – but learning how to build and manipulate shapes isn’t too bad. If you can build objects out of prims in SL then you can learn Blender with (much) patience.

I also utilised a great tool from the SL Marketplace named “Mesh Studio”. It was really easy to operate and will allow you to create things made in ordinary prims to mesh. The wing mirrors on my DB5 were made from 5 prims. When I converted them to mesh they weighed in at 0.5 of a prim. Of course they register as 1 prim as the viewer will not display 0.5. but if you link them together they still only counted as ONE prim ! Clever eh ? I used a similar technique all over the car, quickly knocking up prim pieces and turning them into mesh. Only things with really complex curves had to be fully sculpted in Blender and then imported in-world. To bring any mesh into SL the Lindens make you pass a test first, to make sure you know what you are doing. The test was easy though and just basic common sense to be honest, with all the usual nonsense about breaking TOS blah blah blah.

As I could not texture in Blender like some clever people can, there is not many textures on my car at all except for the inside. But it doesn’t really need them on the outside as it’s just a shiny grey or chrome finish. I think it works.

All of the parts had to be imported into SL pretty much seperatly – which was costly at minimum of $11 L per uplaod ! That’s where most of my DJ tips went ! (Don’t tell Barbie). To upload Mesh it’s more complex than just uploading a sound or an image. There are numerous settings to get to grips with first, and I had my fair old share of problems and wasted uploads that looked like someone had beaten them with sledge hammers! The trick for me was trial and error and see what works best.

Once I had the basic car put together I then started on all of those special 007 gadgets my old Corgi toy had – plus a few more it didn’t!

I thought scripting all of them was going to be a PIG but in actual fact it wasn’t, thanks to another Marketplace purchase called “Handy’s Tools”. Handy’s Tools is much more clever than your standard open shut door scripts. Years ago – the last time I made a car in SL in fact -I had to put scripts in all parts of the door, hinges, door handle, lock etc and program each script with individual X,Y & Z co-ordinates for open and closed. It took forver and I hated it. Plus so many scripts in the car tended to make it a little laggy. Handy’s Tools invented by Mr Handy Low simplifies all of this. You don’t to put any scripts in any prim other than the root prim. All of the other parts that neeed to moved are commanded by the root prim via the seperate parts individual ID, which Handy’s tool conveniently gives them ! If anyone out there ever plans to make any of your builds parts change position then Handy’s tools is for you. Just when you think I am going to stop banging on about Handy’s tools I won’t as I need to give credit to their creator Mr Handy Low who took time out to create some special scripts for me for the car. Certain items needed to move in unison and all needed to operate from a HUD, and Handy was more than happy to assist me. (Thanks Handy !).

All of the gadgets in the car are operated by Hud which I wear, which keeps things simple. I won’t describe the gadgets here because I’ve made a little video on You Tube you can watch showing them all in action !

I hope you enjoyed this article and hope it tempts some of you to try using the Blender tool (it’s free) and have a go at making some things in mesh !

Rgds

Slate

Now don’t get me wrong, if you just like wearing shirt and jeans, or a business suit, or a knitted sweater, you’ll probably find something for you if you trawl the marketplace. In fact I lose count of the number of chaps I see wearing Hoorenbeek’s off-the-peg outfits. Not that I think there’s anything wrong with Hoorenbeek, they provide an “easy option”, a complete avatar’s worth of outfit. Yes, they are VERY expensive, but what you get is of a very high quality if… well… a little “Man at C&A”. I always imagine their clothing being worn by men in the Littlewood’s catalogue, standing around looking dapper whilst staring quizzically at something undefined in the distance.

Hoorenbeek isn’t for everyone, and I’m as likely to shop there in Second Life as I am to shop at Abercrombie and Fitch in first life. The last thing I’ve ever wanted is to dress the same as everyone else (and that’s in any life). I do like fashion “scenes”, but in first life I’ve always picked the bits I like and mixed them up. Who says you can’t wear a polka-dot shirt and DMs? Huh??

So in first life my wardrobe is part charity shop, part eBay, part “that little shop you found in covent garden” and part “I can’t remember where I got this, hope it wasn’t a skip”. In second life I have tended to take the same approach, mixing and matching bits and pieces I’ve found around the grid. I’ve always got my eye out for something a bit different.

So, ladies you can stop reading now. I’m taking it upon myself to write about a few of the Gentleman’s Outfitters that I like in SL. Kind of a nooby-chap’s guide to avoid looking like Donald Trump on his holidays. Let’s start from the ground up…shoes! Yes ladies (if you’re still reading), some of us blokes love shoes as much as you do!! Here’s a couple of places I particularly like…

Jeepers Creepers

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife//185/189/37

Don’t step on em!

The first time I came across this fine establishment was a few years back when my friend Seren bought me a nice pair of Oxfords in brown and cream. Since then I’ve been a regular visitor always keen to see what new releases they have. The shoes here cover a wide range of styles from grungy boots through retro trainers, smart loafers and bowling shoes. As the name suggests they do have a range of brothel creepers too. Some are traditional crepe sole designs and some punkier designs you might have seen Joe Strummer wearing. But don’t think this place is just for rockers, no, there’s styles to suit many subcultures and the mods are also well catered for.

The build quality of Jeepers shoes is as good as any I’ve seen and you get the usual incremental resizing options so fitting is never a problem. This is particularly useful seeing as some of their designs could be considered unisex. Prices average about L250$ a pair – very reasonable.

The store itself is well laid out with related styles arranged close together, that said I usually find myself circling the whole store looking for something new. And new there often is with a fairly healthy supply of fresh designs. I have to say they really think outside the box with some really quirky ideas, one recent release called “Zag” is a range of 80s inspired neon loafers that wouldn’t look out of place in a Duran Duran video. No I wouldn’t be seen dead in them but I applaud owner Eponymous Trenchmouth’s creativity nonetheless. Mind you they’re not all great, the “Ugh Boots” are aptly named.

Gos

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Gos/166/163/302

OK Gos isn’t really aimed at us men folk, most of their store is devoted to the ladies BUT they do have two really great products for us fellas’ feet. The first is a range of desert boots in all the usual colours you’d expect. They’re much pricier than Jeepers but once you’ve bought your first pair you can buy tins of coloured polish which change the textures on your shoes. This is a nice idea I think, I have three or four colours and its worked out cheaper than buying a fatpack. My favourites have blue tartan uppers, never seen those in first life but if I did I’d want a pair!

The second excellent product they do is the classic Doctor Maerten boot. I’ve seen DMs at various SL stores but none come close to the detailing on these. When you first put them on you get a choice of three “conditions”. The first being as new with neatly tied laces, the second a more casual look with laces slightly undone and tongue poking out, and the third a scruffy look with half undone laces which would be a health & safety nightmare if you were running for a bus.

Gos DMs come in all the usual colours; black, cherry and oxblood, but for the more adventurous there are a range of finishes covering most colours, patterns, flags and pictures. And like the desert boots you only pay full whack for the first pair of boots, all finishes are then available as polishes.

So that’s some ideas for your feet, in a later article I’ll be looking at where the man about town can get some nice mesh clobber.

This Week’s Musical Like

This week’s tip is a band I’ve been following for a year or so, in fact I wonder if I should call them a “tip” at all seeing as they’ve become almost mainstream now and you’ve probably seen them on Jools or BBC session, but what the hell. I like their raw new-wave, almost garagey sound. This is a short film featuring new song “Shut Up” released last month, stick with the long intro, it’s worth it.

Went to see Star Trek Into Darkness tonight. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Benjamin Cumberbatch aka BBC’s “Sherlock” was the perfect bad guy. This movie trailer doesn’t do it justice.

I dropped a big hint that my birthday was coming up June 3. I know it was a shameless thing to do but I guess I did it because I love the gang at Soul Mods — and it’s people I care about that I want to spend my birthday with.

I used to do birthdays with my parents and close family, or I’d throw a party inviting best friends. Well, parents are no longer around, and these days I don’t know anyone except my husband where I live. (No, not exaggerating.) I no longer have the desire to have huge parties, but I still want people around me who I am close to.

Anyway, thanks to everyone. I appreciate it. :)

You can copy the church but not modify or give it away. I don’t mind making it available for free, but I’d like to keep it as I originally made it.

To get it go into the Church of Penny Lane and look just inside the door on a table to your left.

Visit Inworld: Moonletters Town

There were members of all kinds of sci-fi shows there: Star Trek, Stargate SG1, The Walking Dead just to name a few. But the celebrity I most wanted to meet was Captain Jack from Doctor Who. You know, this guy.

John Barroman. He and I have some things in common. We both grew up near Chicago, we have both lived in the USA and the UK, and we both love Doctor Who. But there’s one thing John Barroman has done that I haven’t — aside from becoming rich and famous. There’s a rumour going around that he once pinched Graz on the arse. (Sorry Graz, that was too funny not to mention!)

Unfortunately the line to see John Barroman was outrageously long and you had to pay quite a lot to get your picture taken with him, so I didn’t end up doing it. Had some fun though. What I found most entertaining were the people dressed up. Like this alien lady, who happily waved at me as I took her picture.

Also, the girl below came up to us real close. She looked at Julian and asked “Are you my mummy?” He didn’t respond, so she turned to me and asked “Are you my mummy?” to which I replied “I might be. How old are you?” She let me take her picture before going on to someone else.

There were a lot of Japanese Manga characters flitting about and a few scantily women too.

I have more pictures but won’t bore you with them. I’ll just leave you with this of us posing with Star Wars characters.

FUSION DANCE CREW PRESENTS:
1001 ARABIAN NIGHTS
TODAY
Saturday, May 25 – 1PM SLT
@ The Fusion Performing Arts Center

Fusion Dance Crew performs five dance routines that present the centuries old myths and legends that became the 1001 Arabian Nights tales of old. Using our signature stories, sets, costumes, dancing and of course music, Fusion Dance Crew takes you back to ancient times always with a bit of “humor”. Come see this fun show:))

I’ve seen a couple of their shows and enjoyed them. If you’re around during this time come be entertained!

*Photo by Divine Law

I’ll be DJ-ing at Soul Mods tonight, 1pm Second Life Time (9pm UK). If you like The Kinks, The Who, Small Faces, Motown, and ska come join us.

Visit Inworld: Soul Mods

Found an interesting place called The Corner of Revolving Time. It has furniture, kitchens, beds, plants, decor, houses, and party items among other things. All looks pretty decent too.

But you know what the best part is? Everything in the store is free! So if you need a few things check this place out before spending lindens. You may find it here first.

Visit Inworld: Corner of Revolving Time

One cool thing about this dome is that the sky actually moves, giving it more realism. It’s a decent place to rez a small home or just have a place to hang out if you want privacy. There are two versions of it. One is landscaped, and the other (pictured above) is not. The landscaped version is 399L whereas the version without added trees is just 149L.

Me? I prefer the version without trees.

Check this out inworld to see what you think.

Visit Inworld: The Dreamer Creations
On the Marketplace: Sky Dome

Founding keyboardist of the Doors Ray Manzarek has passed away today in Germany. The cause according to his publicist was bile duct cancer. He was 74.

This is sad news. Our prayers go out to Ray’s family, friends, and fans.

So yeah, I’ve had the old Gershwin classic running through my head as a soundtrack to the last few days. For the record it’s been the Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald version, but the Billie Holliday or Sam Cooke versions would have worked just as well. The perfect soundtrack to a perfect weekend you might say.

The weekend started officially at about 9.30pm local time Friday for me, or 1.30pm in SLT if you prefer. Shauna kindly invited me over to Soul Mods, a venue I’m very fond of but for some reason never get to visit that often. Slate McLeod was playing up a storm as usual, everything from old soul, through revival ska and mod bands from the 80s. It was one of those rare evenings where I could just take a back seat, listen to the music and sip on  a bottle of porter or two from Mr Jamal’s cash and carry (much cheaper than the newsagent by the way, even with their 2 for 1 offer on bottled ale). Anyway I digress. Nice to have a night off, kick back and chuckle at the conversation.

The things I like about Soul Mods (apart from Dugi’s talking shoes) are that it’s probably the most lo-fidelity club in Second Life. There are no mesh DJ booths or spinning lasers, no podiums with semi-naked orange people gyrating, no whooping hosts, nobody demanding that I show anyone “Linden Love”. In fact Soul Mods is basically a box full of random stuff, a bit like that shop Jean Alexander used to run in Last of the Summer Wine (or three men in a bath as Vic and Bob re-branded it). Bottles of half drunk wine litter the dance floor  a trio of dancing chimps boogie 24-7, an unloved and rarely played Hammond organ complete with Leslie rotating speaker reside on the stage and a small stickman wanders around telling us all kinds of random observations for no apparent reason. It’s a bit like a cross between a student dorm at Scumbag College and the inside of Vic Reeves mind. But don’t let that put you off, oh no, what makes Soul Mods work isn’t the build.

So … Saturday, me and the rockabillys set up the double bass, drums and Gretsch in my room and delighted the neighbours with some Johnny Burnett and Ray Condo covers before deciding  it’d be nice to stop off at the offy and have a game of footy over the local wreck. Now if you start kicking a football about anywhere in South London other people will ask to join in, and pretty soon we were playing a competitive 5 a side match alongside would-be footballers from several nations – complete with leather jackets for goal posts. And bloody ‘ell my calves ache today!

So Saturday evening I met up with my best mate Des (and drummer from our Soul band) to finish mixing one of the songs for our forthcoming EP. This EP has taken an age to put together because as soon as we get a decent soul diva in to record they promptly get ill / get abducted by aliens / join the French Foreign Legion or spontaneously combust. Anyway, we’re finally close to releasing it, just a bit of mixing required. By coincidence while we were mixing the designer sent the artwork through for the cover. Featuring a very nice photo of the Thames from the North bank no less. Incidentally most North Londoners will only ever see South London from the north bank because basically a taxi won’t take you south of the river and each bridge over the Thames has an imaginary sign saying “Here there be monsters!”. True that is. I met up with a new singer in Soho on Tuesday and when I told her we needed her to rehearse near Streatham she went pale and said “Isn’t that dangerous?”. Don’t believe the hype people!! We’re all cuddly and loverly down here, kind of like Derek Trotter..or..or..er..Captain Sensible.

So then Sunday, and once the Alka Seltzer kicked in I rose from the pit to check the previous night’s mixes.. bah.. too heavy handed with the reverb on the vocal, sounds so spacial she might have been singing in an EDL member’s head! Never drink and mix music, it knackers your high frequency hearing, but do I ever listen? Easily fixed though, other than that and a bit more 80Hz on the kick drum it’s all happening. Hey you know I might even preview a track here soon! The artwork still looked splendid by daylight :)

So the sun is still out, the air is still fresh and the living is still easy, at least for a few more hours until I start work. Now you may be thinking “I don’t come here to read your weekend diary Graz!”, in which case I apologise for boring you with my life (I did leave out the bit about my mammoth fry up and my new socks btw), but as i said to Shauna on Friday at Soul Mods “I don’t have a clue what to write about this week”. So… well… I was a bit stumped!

Tip top track of the week

I’ve been awaiting this new release with some anticipation and it hasn’t disappointed. I’m going to see this band on Wednesday and I can’t wait. This is East London hip-hop/reggae at it’s finest. A perfect summer tune!

In general I find reBourne skyboxes to be high quality but pricey. For instance this multi-scene skybox is $6,250 on the Marketplace. As far as lindens go that’s not cheap, but if you think that’s a lot it cost 14,500L if you go to their store instead.

Yes, it’s a decent product. You can choose your environment from a few categories: cities, fantasy, beaches, mountains, urban — and more. It also comes with a choice of sound effects.

Me relaxing in “Rio” *

Do I think it’s worth the price? That depends on how bad you want it. I suggest going to their store inworld to test and see what you think.

Marketplace: Muliti-Scene Skybox
Visit Inworld: reBourne

*Furniture in photo not included.

Hard to believe that I have an entire town in Second Life but no real “home” in the residential sense. Not long ago I was building on one — even had it looking cool enough to invite Paypabak Writer over to watch telly with me.

But then disaster struck. Much of the house got ruined due to a silly error on my part and it was accidentally unlinked. In trying to fix it I just made things worse, a bit like an inexperienced barber trying to correct a bad haircut and eventually making a person bald. Yes, I do still have part of the house in my inventory and could rebuild if I really wanted to, but I lost heart after that disaster and haven’t really wanted to look at that particular house since then.

So I’ve been in search of a house, but not having much luck. I tend to like steampunk or urban Victorian styles in the British sense, and it’s not easy to find that. What I usually do it is get a cheap prefab just to start me out and then change it entirely adding rooms and walls and new textures and floors until it’s unrecognizable. One might say I have a Brick fetish since I tend to make everything into something out of the Sherlock Holmes era.

Another thing I’ve decided to look at is skyboxes. This is in addition to the home I’d like to have on the ground. Ok, I do have a giant platform in the sky for working on my clothing store, and I have a small room or “moonbox” as I call it that has one couch in it. The little room is like something out of my imagination because when you’re in it you’re “on the moon.” It’s handy for when I want to sit and relax or to talk privately with a friend. It’s very spacey. However, I feel the need for something different now and then, so if anyone can recommend a place with nice skyboxes that don’t cost a fortune let me know. I lean toward those that have a changing scene outside — in particular one that gives the option of London. I am missing England right now like you wouldn’t believe!

Ever just meet a person in Second Life and while you’re in the middle of an interesting conversation your computer decides to crash?

That happened to me tonight. Right in the middle of a chat my computer morphed into a blue screen and said it was going to restart due to some “errors”. There was nothing I could do, and it took ages to reboot. By the time I got back to Second Life my potential new friend was gone and, silly me, I could not remember their long complicated name! Since I do not keep logs of conversations their identity was lost in the ether — forever.

My computer only likes to crash if things get interesting. You can bet the computer will freeze up or shut off if a friend is about to tell me a deep dark secret. And if I’m waiting for the punchline to a real funny joke? That’s right. Time for a crash.

It also likes to crash during awkward moments, like if I’m asked an important question that requires an immediate answer.

Friend: You’ve been acting strange lately. Are you upset about something?
Shauna Vella is offline

Yes, I know a dying computer could happen during even worse moments, such as right after someone asks if you fancy them or confesses undying infatuation. Or something even more intense. (Use your imagination.)

Be assured though that the computer will rarely, if ever, crash when something boring is happening, if you have no project to work on, no friend to talk to, and absolutely nothing is going on. If that’s the case it’s usually smooth sailing through SL.

YEE YAW! I have arrived!

(She was just teasing, but I’ll take it as a compliment anyway.)

Now like many of you my inventory has it’s fair share of pointless, useless even ridiculous items. Most of which I’ve collected as freebies. I mean what use is an iron lung or a garlic crusher in a virtual world? But a worrying percentage are things I’ve paid good money for, then never used more than once… or at all. OK some were mistakes, things that looked better in the photo but sadly disappointed on delivery. But others were things I bought intentionally thinking “hmm that would be nice to own”.. the stilts and the Salvadore Dalí melty clock for example.

I’ve lost count of the number of vehicles, bikes and planes I’ve bought, all useless in SL of course because… well frankly the physics of SL are too shite to ever drive anything for more than a few yards before it ends up parked between your buttocks! And shoes, don’t get me started on shoes. I’m ashamed to say I’d give Imelda Marcos a run for her money.

I knew I was bad, and really the fully functioning battle Dalek complete with HUD I bought recently should have been a wake up call. I mean it’s all very nice, and the comedy value of seeing it open up at the front to reveal a shrunken Graz with MASSIVE hair and brothel creepers at the controls  is priceless. But seriously, what use is a Dalek? Well OK I did once go to a sex sim as a Dalek and annoy the locals by trundling around shouting “EX-SPERMINATE!!!!” But you soon get bored with that, and also the bizarre offers of cyborg gratification it attracts.

But this week I went too far… and I knew I had to get professional help. I sank as low as a man can possibly sink. That’s right dear reader… I bought a banjo.

These evil sounding “instruments” were originally an April fool’s day joke created by Blue Peter presenter Peter “Pervy” Purvis using a tambourine, a squash racket and some sticky backed plastic. Co-presenter John Noakes commented at the time “By ‘eck it sounds like someone tuning a piano with wire cutters”. Both were later sacked by Biddy Baxter and had to live out the rest of their days in exile. Banjos were eventually decriminalised in the UK in the late 1980s, although you can still get imprisoned for “intent to supply” if you’re caught with more than one in your possession.

Thankfully today banjos are largely obsolete across vast parts of the globe, and like the smallpox virus scientists are working on complete eradication. It’s also good to hear Barack Obama has vowed to ban the use of Steve Martin CDs as torture at Guantanamo Bay, because frankly nobody deserves that.

So why did I buy one in Second Life? Well I have a further shameful admission… a few years ago I also bought one in first life. I saw it, it was shiny! It was a bargain!! I thought maybe I could tame it!!! Yes I know, you’re sitting there shaking your head. You’re right, it was excruciatingly horrible sounding and after a couple of years of it glaring at me from the corner like an unwanted stepchild, I decided to give it away to charity. One for people who have hearing loss.

So there I was in a popular SL music emporium perusing the guitars, and there it was.. a banjo. It looked like a shiny, tameable bargain!! And before I knew it I owned a virtual banjo, complete with jaunty animation and plinky plonk cover of The Macarena.

I’m now in rehab… with Steve Martin.

So this weeks banjo free tip top musical tip is “Then We Begin” by Alfa 9. Newcastle Under Lyme’s Alfa 9 are a trippy, psychedelic, folksy mish mash of influences. Like someone took Syd’s Pink Floyd, The Soft Machine and The Verve and baked them into a marble cake. Taken from the album “Gone To Ground” it’s brilliant Sunday morning listening as you stand there in your underwear knocking back the Alka Seltzer and contemplating a fry up. Give it a listen!

Well, today, I visited another landscape by the same artist, Rose Borchovski. It’s a surreal exhibit called The Inevitability of Fate set in an environment that could have been taken from one of my freakiest dreams.

It’s really hard to describe. You just need to see it.

It’s wonderful when people use Second Life in such creative ways, and this art thinks outside the box. You not only look at it, but you become part of it. There’s sight, sound, and pieces of the exhibit even move and follow you around. Signs and letters appear before you and fall to the ground. It’s not your typical art exhibit.

The verdict? Two thumbs up. Be sure to give this one a visit!

Visit Inworld: Two Fish

Linus Radford, aka Randal Prater, was one of my first friends in Second Life (and the only person I knew in first life before second life). Yesterday he invited me to hear him play, and though I don’t usually go to concerts in SL anymore I was pleased to see Linus back at it — so I went!

It is hard to believe it was six years ago that Linus and I used to hang out. Unfortunately some things happened in first life making it difficult for Linus to do SL anymore, and I moved across an ocean to get married — so we ended up in completely different time zones as well. And yet, I am happy we are still friends! (Facebook does come in handy occasionally.)

Note: Linus was the first person to ever get featured on this site. In 2007 he was nicknamed the king of mope and looked like this:

Hey, no laughing. That was one of the coolest looking avatars you could have back then!

Anyway, it was good to see Linus doing music again. Due to health reasons he is unable to play his guitar anymore, but he did so much recording back in the day he still has his own guitar playing available to sing over. Hopefully he can do more in the future.

Before I tell you about an encounter I had this week let me first explain something to those of you who have never DJ’d in SL. OK there may not be anyone who hasn’t DJ’d in SL because sometimes it seems that EVERYONE in SL is a DJ. But humour me. ;)

Being a Second Life DJ isn’t really being a DJ at all. A first Life DJ requires a degree of technical expertise, a sense of timing, the ability to mix between two records with a seamless transition of beats from one deck to the other and knowing how to keep the dance floor packed by gauging the mood in the room. A second life DJ needs only limited skills, basically how to make a list of mp3 files and press play. It’s pretend DJing and really nobody should take it too seriously; it’s just a bit of fun.

So there I was at AAI playing my regular midweek set, when I received an IM from a relative stranger who I’d never seen at AAI before…

[2013/05/01 14:09]  Charlie Friday*: Hey Graz ..any chance i can play here sometime ?

[2013/05/01 14:10]  Me: sure

[2013/05/01 14:10]  Me: hang on I’ll send you the application thing

[2013/05/01 14:10]  Charlie Friday: okies

[2013/05/01 14:11]  Second Life: Inventory item offered 

Director’s commentary: The application form is returned partially completed

[2013/05/01 14:16]  Me: Thanks :)

[2013/05/01 14:16]  Charlie Friday: have you heard me play before ?

[2013/05/01 14:16]  Me: no sorry, I’ve seen your notices though

[2013/05/01 14:16]  Me: when’s a good time for you to do a try out set?

[2013/05/01 14:18]  Charlie Friday: i dont do try outs …im one of the better Indie Dj’s in Sl

[2013/05/01 14:19]  Me: ok

[2013/05/01 14:20]  Charlie Friday: i hire Dj’s …i take them to be good ….never trial them

[2013/05/01 14:20]  Me: well I always like to hear them, we’ve had turkeys in the past

[2013/05/01 14:20]  Me: thanks anyway though

[2013/05/01 14:21]  Charlie Friday: i have 10 DJ’s that play for me …

[2013/05/01 14:21]  Me: why do you want to play here then? sounds like your place is the best

[2013/05/01 14:22]  Charlie Friday: i like this club

[2013/05/01 14:24]  Me: OK but we ask everyone to do a trial and proper set up, club policy

*Name changed

And it went downhill from there with Charlie Big Potatoes berating me for playing Stevie Wonder and not being “indie” enough, before disappearing in a cloud of huff. How rude! Like I’ve EVER claimed to be indie! I showed the conversation to Meri and Thom and we had a bit of a chuckle before agreeing that he probably wasn’t for us.

The reason we have a “try out” set is to make sure the DJ can connect to our stream, understands how the tip system works and knows how to send group notices (and secretly we also like to make sure they don’t intend to play any Nickelback!). We also need to make sure their internet connection is fast enough to stream music into SL and you’d be surprised how many aren’t. So really the try out is intended to benefit both parties. It’s certainly not a test of how “cool” or “bleeding edge” your set list is and most people appreciate the time we spend with them helping out. I’m certainly not trying to be Simon Cowell on “SL’s Got Talent”. My waistband is well below my nipples thank you very much.

The thing is it doesn’t matter how good or popular you think you are, DJing is just playing some soundfiles from your PC at a virtual venue, nothing to get all puffed up about. In my opinion what’s important, and what really makes a good DJ is how friendly you are and the kind of atmosphere you create. The music is just a soundtrack to that. I usually go to hear a DJ because I like the person, the chat AND the music.

Well that’s got that out of my system, now for some new music! :)

This week my top sonic tip is Deap Vally. These ladies remind me of feisty 70s rocker girls like The Slits, Poly Styrene, Joan Jett, Suzi Quatro and Pam Ayres… NICE. These two Californian ladies met in a needlework class, which is too rock and roll for words and probably how Nickelback got together too if they’re honest. The album’s on my wish list, it’s called Sistronix and it’s out June 24th. Loved everything I’ve heard from it so far, this lairy offering included. Have a nice week!

Tonight at Soul Mods the topic turned to politics. While I myself am not keen on political discussions in a club setting (which is supposed to be fun) this was nothing too serious. Most of it was banter, somewhat light hearted and everyone was having a good time — or so I thought.

After some time a woman we’d never met before piped in that she didn’t come there to listen to Illinois Nazis.

Then she promptly teleported away.

Well, I dedicate this video to that lady.

*Warning.: if swearing offends don’t watch