Avatarexia

Posted on July 30, 2010
Filed Under Opinions/Gossip/People | 3 Comments

BY EDITOR SHAUNA SKYE

Seen the movie Avatar yet? If so, remember how tall and skinny the Na’vi were compared to the humans? I’m guessing the Na’vi were about 8 to 10 feet tall, towering over people. Well guess what? It seems most people have made themselves this tall and skinny in Second Life. Just touch one of those gadgets that reveal what your height would be in the real world, and you’ll see what I mean. Most women, if you took them from Second Life to real life, are pushing 7 feet tall. Men? Even taller.

I’m not one of those people who think the Second Life body has to look like the real life person. While it’s true I did try to look like real life me, and stood in front of a mirror to get proportions right, since 2007 the SL version of me has gradually slimmed down a little, and I tend to wear shoes that add about six inches of height. When I first worked on myself I had people who knew me best check to see how much SL Shauna looked like real life Shauna. First comment was. “Your chest is not that big” to which I reduced a bit of wishful thinking. I was also told to add more muscles around the legs, and as a result I ended up looking not too different from myself in real life at the time.

Yes, I looked like this picture when I got into Second Life in 2007. The real life me is getting older, but I do not plan to reflect that fact on the Second Life version of myself. That’s right, if Second Life is still around in twenty years I don’t plan to have grey hair and wrinkles, and I’ll still make myself look like a version of me that pleases my own eyes. This is nothing against being older, as some may prefer a mature look, it just so happens I feel more like a kid.

What’s cool about Second Life is we can look however we want to. And yet, even where there’s diversity on clothes or even species, I still notice intolerance. It’s like you can be anything you want to be, just don’t be anything other than young or skinny. This is not to pick on thin people either. I’d take offense if the opposite were true as well, if it was expected that everyone conform to being hugely fat.

Recently someone IMd me about another person in the room. They said something like “When I created my avatar, my friend ____ helped to make me look perfect. So why did that girl make herself look more, er, healthy?” This was not said by a malicious person, but a nice person genuinely asking. Yes, I had to resist the urge to tell them the friend who helped them make their avatar “perfect” sounded rather uninteresting; and I let them know that to my eyes the person they were asking about was absolutely beautiful. I don’t just mean pretty on the inside either. Contrary to popular belief, some people find it more attractive when women have curves.

What got to me about this is the fact that this sweet, well meaning person believed that being skinny was “perfect.” Yes, skinny is perfect for some people, and can be beautiful too; but to someone else a curvier figure is more attractive. I’m speaking mostly of women because I’m a woman, but this is true of men too. Not everyone prefers the look of those big chested hulks you see so much of in Second Life.

I know my taste is different than most, because what some view as beautiful, I often find appalling. An example is tans. To me dark skin is lovely if it is natural, but the people with fake yellow hair and orange skin do not look pleasing to my eyes. Yes, I know they think the same of me, and that’s fine too. People can hardly help what they find attractive and what they don’t. Recently I met a woman who asked if I was a vampire. I had to tell her that no, I just didn’t have a tan.

If someone thinks having a bust that’s bigger than the rest of their body is beautiful, I’d never try to change them or give body advice. But please . . . let’s not call one thing “perfect” and another thing not. Me being pale is not perfect, but neither is them being tan. It’s just a matter of taste.

Like real life, there’s this expectation to conform to a certain look considered to be pretty. Staff writer Jellie Arrowmint made an interesting comment on her blog regarding this in a write up called Me Myself & I. She said:

I was given a ‘Sexy Shape’ . . . & I ended up looking pretty much the same as the other avatars there. When I changed back to my usual shape it was met with the complete lack of understanding as to why I had done this, I explained ’jellie’ is a reflection of my RL self & I was happy this way, again this was met with a complete lack of understanding.

I was left feeling frustrated, I’m an individual & refused to look like most of the other ladies at the club – as nice & full of good intentions as they were.

Actually, I think the people handing out the sexy shapes are showing a reflection of their inner selves. For one, they are demonstrating what they want to look like, or what they think others want them to look like, and well . . . a bit of mainstream conformity. Jellie, however, comes off as an interesting unique person to me.

I’m not saying it’s bad if people conform. We all do it in some ways, and it can be a good thing sometimes. What I think is bad is when people see others who are different from them and want to change them. It’s ok to hangout with people who are more like ourselves, that’s natural, but it’s bad when we try to make everyone else conform to what we prefer. I’m not sure if there’s any treatment for avatarexia yet, but if there is I think many of us need it.

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