BY SHAUNA SKYE
I think I may have to put JP Lancaster on the payroll, because he gave me something else I can share with you today.
But first, a little history.
Back when I used to co-own a classic rock club with JP, I was trying to recruit DJs, and one day this guy with a load of tattoos, a backwards baseball cap, and huge trousers showed up to audition. From his appearance, I had this feeling that he wasn’t going to be playing the classic rock I was looking for (Rolling Stones, The Doors, The Who, Led Zeppelin, etc) but looks can be deceiving, and I try not to judge people by that.
So . . . I explained to the guy that the club genre was very specific; we wanted classic rock. He nodded, said he totally understood, then logged into the stream.
Guess what he played first?
Rather than explain it, here’s the video on youtube. I’ll wait.
Yes, that’s right. He played “Rockstar” by Nickelback. Needless to say, when I heard that coming through my speakers I first had a sense of panic, then a stab of mental anguish, followed by this urge to pounce on the DJ and strangle his pixels.
You’ll be happy to know I didn’t end that DJ’s Second Life that day. I kept control of myself, thanked him for his audition, cutting him short just after he played a few more songs which bordered on modern R&B and rap, and let him escape unharmed. I gave one hell of a rant after he left though, and since that day the song “Rockstar” by Nickelback has been burned into my mind as this loathsome thing.
JP, knowing how much I hate the song, thinks it’s hilarious even now to tell new DJs at his club that they should play Nickelback for me. One DJ I had just tipped, and JP laughingly said “Shauna loves Nickelback. You should play some for her.” The lady DJ didn’t notice that I screamed “Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” after he said that, or that JP was laughing, so she actually PLAYED that country fried piece of crap of a song. I told her I wanted my tip back. (I was kidding, but she didn’t get the first joke either so thought I was serious; don’t think she was too happy.)
So, keeping the history of this in mind, I present to you a parody of the song, sung by Foolish Frost. JP sent this to me yesterday, and I have to admit I did laugh. Warning: 1. It has adult references in it and exceeds the usual PG rating of Moonletters. 2. The tune itself may cause trauma.